Terry Small, B.Ed., M.A., is a master teacher and Canada's leading learning skills specialist. He is the author of the Brain Bulletin with over 34,000 subscribers worldwide. Terry has presented on the brain for over 33 years to organizations around the world. Terry's wealth of teaching experience and extensive involvement in applied neuroscience make him an outstanding resource of the business and educational communities. https://www.terrysmall.com/blog

                                  

Editorial

This text originally appeared in Teaching Times for English Teaching Professionals in France. TESOL France no 107, Autumn 2024, ISSN: 1266-7552

People who add value to others do so intentionally

"The truth is - no matter how ”self-made' you think you are, you a re really made by many who have invested in your life. Be known as a thankful and grateful person. Be known as the person that is investing in others to build them up. It's your way of paying back the debt that others have invested in you." — Josh Hatche

My formal education, and love of learning, began many years ago in a one-room school house in Esperanza, B.C., Canada. Esperanza was a village of 50 people hugging the northwest coast of Vancouver Island. No roads. Only access was boat, or seaplane.

Mrs. McLean taught grades one to eight, all in the same room. I was the only student in Grade One. I used to like to tell people that I was always "top of my class' My brother would pipe up and say, ”Also the bottom." True.

Mrs. McLean was the best storyteller ever. I loved finishing up my work quickly, so I could listen to the history lessons that she gave the older children. She always knew I was eavesdropping, but never let on. I think about her often.

Albert Schweitzer once said, "I look back upon my youth and realize how so many people gave me help, understanding, courage — very important things to me and they never knew it. They entered into my life and became powers within me. All of us live spiritually by what others have given us, often unwittingly, in the significant hours of our life. At the time these significant hours may not even be perceived. We may not recognize them until years later when we look back, as one remembers some long-ago music or a childhood landscape We all owe to others much of the gentleness and wisdom that we have made our own; and we may well ask ourselves what will others owe to us?"

I read this recently:

"You may be abIe to pinpoint some situations in which you've learnt specific skills or people who've taught things to you but generally it's dependent on the subtle ongoing observations and imitations that we are constantly making in response to others.

This is a form of role-modelling and often the only way we learn the nuances and complexities of human emotion and behaviour. In the same way we nee to watch someone serve in tennis – it’s nearly impossible to do it correctly without having seen it rather than just following instructions – people have to see the social and emotional aspects of learning role modelled in order to understand and adopt them.

And it's these little imitations that add up to habits and lasting behaviours that become part of who we are, altering our characteristics, beliefs and nudging our values without us even realising. You, me, all of us are often completely unaware of the strongest influence in our life the behaviour of those around us.“

These people give of themselves. It's intentional, and it rarely happens by accident

When I give my presentations and workshops on leadership and the brain (1 ), early on ask participants to identify someone from any point in their lives who had a  huge, positive impact on their life trajectory It could be a boss, teacher, family member, friend, neighbour, coach, anyone. 

Then I ask them to write down a few reasons why: How did these people treat them? H ow did they speak? Wh at did they say? Who were they when you were watching, and they didn’t know it? Then we have a time of sharing, and together build a powerful experience. I am always a bit caught off guard at the emotion that fills the room. People matter. This year let's continue to act like what we do matters. Because it does. Teaching, what a great way to spend your life.

Thank you Mrs. M cLean. You’ve always been one of my heroes.

 

Food for thought          

"I'm sorry Mr. Kipling, but you just don't understand how to use the English language."

Publisher's letter to Rudyard Kipling, rejecting his Jungle Book, 1889

"It s impossibIe to sell animal stories in the U.S.A."

Rejection letter from publisher to George Orwell's, Animal Farm, 1945

"A dead pull from start to finish."

Book review of Charles Dicken's, A Tale of Two Cities, Century Magazine, 1897

'The girl doesn't, it seems to me, have a special perception, or feeling which would lift the book above the curiosity level."

Publisher s rejection letter of Anne Frank's Diary, 1952

"This is a book of the season onIy."

New York Tribune review of Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, 1925

Sometimes what others say is important. But, what you say about what they say is more important. Words snape the reality you perceive. 

Your brain has given you the potential to use words in extraordinary ways. And, the way you choose to use words can change the wiring in your brain, and improve your neural functioning.

It's worth remembering, success is never certain, failure is never permanent.

‘A singIe woird has the power to influence the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional stress.'

Andrew Newberg, MD

 

To sum up

When someone gives you feedback (And as a public speaker, I get a lot of it!), consider it as a learning experience. Between stimulus and response there is a gap. Mind the gap.

Choose your words intentionally. Teaching what a great way to spend your life.

 

References

(1) H ow Imitati ng Qur Role Models Shapes 0 ur Brains, BBC Science Focus Magazine, Fiona Mu den, Dec. 14, 2020

 

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